In high school, I was not the most motivated person. I got B's, didn't study hard (if at all), and was more interested in going to work after class to make money. I was okay with that. Senior year came around, and everyone was applying for college. It was such an exciting time! The only school I applied to was NAU. I had wanted to go there since I was young and would come up to the campus to compete in soccer tournaments. During the second semester, I got my acceptance letter...I was ecstatic! Unfortunately, I was not granted any scholarships or grants to help pay for this school. (But who can really afford it anyways). My family talked to me about maybe going to community college to save some money before making my move to a University. I was crushed. I went into a funk for some time over this... all of my friends were leaving for school, and I was going to be stuck in stupid Peoria, Arizona. In high school, I had the same group of friends for years. During this time I had confided in them regarding this among other things. When talking to a friend, who my friends and I now call "The T Word", told me that I was not good enough to go to a University anyways, and I did not deserve it. What kind of friend says that to someone they care about? I really believed her... Fast forward to today, look where I am now! I let this negative be my fuel, and kicked butt in community college, and am kicking butt even harder at NAU! I let her negative words be my driving force, and challenged me to do better and prove her wrong.
In my particular situation, I feel as though she was just being a mean girl, and would not have said anything differently to me. However, positive reinforcement would have been the way to go.
I feel as though, and I could be wrong, there are many people in college now who feel the way I did in high school. The feeling that you have no support, for that everyone is waiting for your failure. My story could be very relatable and helpful for these mentees. You have to tell them that they are worth it and that they can do this. Help them recognize that the negative in their life can be their fuel to succeed. Let them know that everyone will have failures on their way too, but without those failures, you can not really begin to succeed.
Chelsea,
ReplyDeleteWhile reading this blog, I felt like i wrote it myself because I was in a similar situation in my household. I am the first sibling out of three to go to college so the thought of saving up money and pushing me to go to college never crossed my parents mind. Even when I got accepted with a decent scholarship, my parents were still really hesitant with helping me financially and encouraging me to do my best, even to this day. From this experience, I learned that it is the most rewarding feeling when you accomplish a goal or make it somewhere and know that you were the one that did it. I think you can use this mindset with your mentee's and remind them that they came here for a reason and that it will all be worth it in the end!
Thanks for sharing, it is nice to hear that people have been in similar situations that I have been in.
Hey Chelsea! I hope you're not friends with that person anymore, because even though their negative words may have been a driving force for you to succeed, like you said positive reinforcement would have helped a lot more, and you don't need any sort of negativity in your life. I love this "tell me I can't and I'll show you I will" attitude, because it really can work in helping people succeed in whatever it may be. It is definitely so important to reinforce the idea that mentees are good enough and are worthy and belong here. It's incredible what you have accomplished.
ReplyDeleteI thoroughly enjoyed reading this post. By the way I love the title! Your personal struggles and challenges are ones as peer mentors, we definitely will face and seeing you overcome them makes me feel confident that others can as well!! Thank you for this post :)
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